QUEEN V: Assumpta Vitcu and her Mr. V’s super special day that honoured both her dad, mum and new family.

So delighted to feature Assumpta of Ave Creations and Ave Blooms wedding today! Assumpta is someone in the industry we have connected with over the last few months who has made us giggle, laugh, think, reflect, feel many feels including massive inspiration, admiration and solidarity on many topics. She’s a totally mega wedding planner and florist and mixing various skills you don’t often find together such as being a huge empath and creative soul, really seeing who you are, your needs and your vision, but also major confidence and determination and quiet feistiness to GET THE JOB DONE. And how you want it too.

We’ll be hearing and more about her work life in a second blog post coming soon, so for now we focus on her passion for her culture and sharing it and the beautiful day she created for her and Mr V! It was part of a series we started in August aiming to show what traditional fabrics meant to West African Brides, but after another few months down the line my angle actually feels quite an othering attitude. Instead I should celebrate weddings as weddings, respecting and celebrating the parts that binds them all together (love, family, hope, joy) AND the parts that make them all different (a bajillion infinity things) in equal measure, but I mustn’t keep focusing on that difference being in relation to western weddings! 🤪🙏🏼 I massively loved learning about the traditional Esan meets Igbo meets Romanian wedding though! So thank you for sharing it all us Assumpta - and you look LIKE A QUEEN, just as you were meant to.

Who are you and what do you do?

My name is Assumpta Vitcu and I am a multipotentialite! A multipotentialite is someone who has many different interests and creative pursuits in life but my headliners are Wedding Planning, Designing and Writing.

What is your’s and Mr V’s fave thing about each other?

I love how intelligent, driven and autonomous my husband is. I love being around him and learning new things from him but also love that he knows when to give me space as I can (believe it or not) be quite reclusive. He said “I love your smile and love how you keep things interesting and still manage to surprise me.” (I may or may not have been blushing when he answered that question.

*nawwww !

What have you leant about married life so far?

That communication is key, being friends invaluable and that you can be married and not lose yourself (or friends) to a relationship. There’s a lyric from a song that has great significance to us and featured on our wedding day that says: “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m a force when we’re together.” I believe that to be true of us. Our is not a co-dependent love. We are both quite independent and driven but the sum of our parts is building a really beautiful whole.

What was your fave part of the (traditional) wedding day?

Sharing my culture with my friends and new family. None of them (including my Nigerian friends) had been to an Esan-Igbo (the tribes I hail from) traditional wedding, so it was a new and interesting experience for them.

Did you wear traditional fabrics on your wedding day? What did that mean to you on your wedding day? Did you have a traditional Nigerian Wedding and a more western wedding separately - or just the one! Did you do the Asoebi tradition?

Despite hailing from two different countries, on different continents might I add, my [Romanian] husband and I had a traditional Nigerian wedding. It was followed by a Western wedding a couple of days later. Irrespective of who I married, it was always important for me to have a traditional Nigerian wedding because of its deeper meaning and symbolism – it is the joining of two families together and it is at the ceremony that the groom proves his seriousness and worthiness of the bride. Introducing my husband and his family (as well as my friends), to my culture meant the world to me. Once our two families became one, we danced the night away!

What do the fabrics mean to you for your wedding and in a more wider sense as well? What feeling do they conjure up for you? Was it very important for you to have this element and why?

The textures, colours and intricate details of the fabrics worn, are not only a means of expressing our vibrant heritage but also identifying where you hail from. I have always equated Nigerian clothing with joy and celebration. I never dreamt about my future wedding in great detail as a teen but the one thing I always looked forward to wearing at my own traditional wedding was coral beads in my hair. 

In Nigeria, you are from where your Dad is from so the customs of his hometown are what you adhere to. My [paternal] family are from Esan (Ishan), in Edo State and my maternal family are Igbo, from Delta State. Benin (where I was born), is the capital of Edo state in Nigeria and has one of the most colourful and exciting marriage systems in Nigeria. In Esan culture and tradition, marriage rites are held in very high esteem. It is often said that marriage is one of the important cardinal points of anyone’s life.
Esan brides are known for their Bridal regalia which is made up of the red/orange coral beads. The ceremonial coral beads are worn as part of the bride’s maiden outfit and used as a symbol of beauty, power, and wealth. The regalia comprises of the headwear which is usually in the shape of a crown known as ‘okuku’. The hair is an important part of the look as it helps give each bride the unique shape of their crown. 

To complete the look, brides usually wear beaded necklaces called ‘ivie-uru’, beaded earrings called ‘ehor-ivie’, and a beaded cape called ‘ewu-ivie’. Some brides also go for beaded shoes. Fabrics ranging from velvet to lace or George of various colours are tied in the form of a ‘wrapper’ or sown into a dress by the brides. Esan brides stand out because their attire always makes a statement. Many brides opt to wear red but I chose white lace with gold embroidery.

Not wanting to forget my Mum’s culture, I changed into a beautiful burgundy George fabric to represent my Igbo heritage. Our final change had a more modern aesthetic. For that I chose a heavily beaded green lace that my Mum sourced and it was mixed with a stunning green silk. My other two outfits were made in Nigeria while my third and final outfit was made in the UK by my bridal gown couturier. All of the coral beads I wore were custom made for me in Nigeria.

Did you add any modern takes on the fabric/traditional dress elements? Did you adapt them in anyway to be more reflective of who you are individually?

My final outfit reflected my personality through and through (I am a serious dress lover and black tie is my favourite dress code). It was a modern take on traditional Nigerian dresses. Because it was such a busy day, I wasn’t able to take pictures that did the design and craftsmanship justice but at some point soon I will because it is one of the most exquisite dresses I have ever worn and the custom made gele that was hand-stoned in Nigeria, completed the outfit perfectly. While wearing this final outfit, we also incorporated a Romanian tradition where the bride and groom share a ring-shaped bread with their guests.

Did you have any conflicting feelings about the traditional vibe and how to align that with who you are as a modern British woman? How did you reconcile this, either simply mentally or with any actions you took? [ I - Becky Most Curious - want to add here that I have asked this question a couple of times and Brides have always categorically said NOPE! So on reflection this is me projecting a white centred perspective on this - so I thought I would to take it out BUT Assumpta’s answer is badass and I wanted to keep it in as a learning moment for me and any readers. Apologies and thanks for answering it Assumpta! ]

I did not have any conflicting feelings about the traditional vibe because I am as much Nigerian as I am British. Despite having been in the UK since I was 3 and spending more time in London than I have in Nigeria, my heritage is very much a part of who I am. I am from a small, lesser known tribe and I wanted my friends and new family to learn more about it. I reconciled and modernised the traditional rituals by not only choosing to honour my mother’s tribe and my father’s but also by showcasing my personality at the end, via my clothing choices.

Do you have any recommended suppliers or creatives that you used in this process?

Everyone who worked on our weddings were excellent, but I want to give a special shout out to Dupe Gele who tied my Mum’s gele as well as my two geles for different outfit changes despite having a challenging day personally. My makeup artist, Funke of Faces by Funke did a fantastic job of switching up my makeup to match my different looks. And finally, my first two outfits were made by the renowned JB Living in Lagos, the legendary Bimmms24 (also in Lagos who I physically went to see) made and stoned my aso oke and my final outfit was made by the supremely talented Fran Rios.

Anything else you would like to add!

There is so much more that I would add but if I describe this process and the intricacies of our traditional wedding in any more detail (e.g. we had a Nigerian MC who also spoke Romanian so my in-laws would understand everything going on, I wore a robe made from Romanian fabric while getting ready, we had a live Edo-band and dancers, my bridesmaids gifted me a custom made crystal bag that I’d secretly been wanting from New York and it had my new surname on it and I wore it with my final outfit, I designed and printed a leaflet, that was also the menu, which explained to each guest what was happening and the significance of what I was wearing etc.)... the word count would double! lol 

CONTACT ASSUMPTA AT AVE CREATIONS HERE