MC Coalition Member, Lexie Lenoir, of Queer Weddings UK, On Working With Wife, Aisha Shaibu, of Moonlight Experiences, On Hun-Do's, Their New, Inclusive Take on a Pre-Wedding Party
“The platform was screaming and it’s my calling as well,” Lexie says, a sure and steady light burning bright in her eyes.
“I’m Lexie Lenoir; I am a wedding and events professional for the past 15 years and I created a platform called Queer Weddings UK, specifically for LGBTQ+ couples who want to create an amazing wedding, which led me to quit my job and fully commit myself to the brand.” She first put words to the idea of Queer Weddings UK a few years ago—before the pandemic hit and altered everything. “I didn’t want to call it LGBTQ+ weddings—no flow. Queer for me is my identity, it’s just the way I identify actually. I am Queer woman. Queer is an umbrella for the community. When I say Queer weddings, I think the community will know exactly what I’m talking about…for me, Queer Weddings UK is for the folks in the acronym and those who want to support.”
Lexie calls lockdown “the rest I was dying to have,” after fifteen consecutive years of working in hospitality. “I’ve never had that much rest,” she tells me, her words rounding on an unburdened sigh. “You realize how unhealthy you are—you’re missing your sleep, your workout, your mental and physical health are suffering,” she recounts, thinking back to her time in hospitality. “I cannot display that kind of energy to my clients—because I cannot show a person who is under-slept, under-nourished. However I look on the inside is how I will look on the outside. Funny thing, I got out of the pandemic a new me—a renewed energy that I desperately needed. After I set up Queer Weddings UK properly, I was out,” Lexie tells me. Who would want to walk back into the same fire that had burnt you out? In place of that scorching flame, a different light now emanates from Lexie. She knows she made the best of the worst. Lexie is a Parisian living just outside of London since 2003. Along with her partner of four and a half years, Aisha Shaibu, of Moonlight Experiences, a Queer cultural doorway, they waited out lockdown and postponed their wedding; it was a year and a half before the pair could cross the channel to see their French family again. This summer they will finally say their “I do’s” with the guidance of their wedding planner, fellow-Coalition member, Assumpta Vitcu, and the skills of their photographer, Luisa Starling capturing every detail, (including the engagement session featured in this post both the images immediately above and immediately below). It’s sure to be a day worth the wait.
As a pair of travel-bugs, Lexie and Aisha, head of Operations and Community respectively for UK Black Pride, were eager to begin traveling again. “Travel as a Queer person, what can I say about it? I have so much to say about it. So much travel pre-pandemic and in the last six months,” she muses. Lexie and Aisha love traveling in Asia—they have previously been to Thailand and Malaysia amongst other astoundingly vibrant places. They recently watched a documentary all about Taiwan’s courageous fight to become the first Asian country to legalize Queer weddings. Together, Lexie and Aisha, a chemist and University Lecturer, run Queer Nomads, seeking to increase visibility for underground Queer communities in some unlikely regions through travel. They went to Dubai a few years ago and met with transpeople living within the highly regulated society who have formed a counterculture available to other Queer travelers, if one knows where to look. The same goes in Thailand, where Queer Thai people need economic stimulation—Lexie encourages those who worry about investing in the economies of Queerphobic societies not to boycott countries nor fail to connect with members of the community while traversing these beautiful lands. Her tips are to be mindful of where you’re going and connect with companies that cater to these proud, but quiet, counter-communities and will safely connect you to them. “Sometimes protesting…,” she begins one thought before finding a succinct way to continue, “you can do it in many different ways.”
“If you’re thinking of not going somewhere, look into the Queer communities there and think about the benefits of supporting your own community—there will always be a reason why you shouldn’t, but it has worked for us so far.”
“I’ve been working in the wedding industry myself for almost 10 years now—I’ve seen the lack of representation—the wedding industry is very white. I’ve found it a difficult space to navigate as I am not white.” It’s for this reason that Lexie chose to join the inaugural Most Curious Coalition, established this year, 2022, ahead of the Most Curious Wedding March 4th-6th. “These are all the ingredients for a good meal and I’m ready to serve that meal. Made total sense for me to be involved in this,” Lexie says of the call to join the diverse group of advisors, sent out by Most Curious founder, Becky Hoh-Hale. “I love Becky, who doesn’t love Becky? She’s not performative—she genuinely wants to be as inclusive as possible. It was a no-brainer when she asked.”
Lexie is ready for significant, substantial change in the world of weddings and society at large as well. “I know things will change,” she says, cool and confident. And why shouldn’t she be? With Lexie at the helm of the UK’s first Queer-oriented weddings service, it will happen.
Lexie Lenoir, owner of Queer Weddings UK, Head of Operations for UK Black Pride, collaborator of Hun-Do’s, one half of the Queer Nomads, and Aisha Shaibu’s wife
“I created Queer Weddings UK to make this space,” Lexie says.
Her experiences in events, as a manager, as a Queer person of color, and now as a bride-to-be, made for an ideal fit for her role in the Coalition. “I deserve my space at this wedding fair! I deserve this space. I work hard. People need to see it. We all see gay weddings, but I’m about to smash all perceptions of that.” She hopes to see more Queer-owned and operated businesses step to the forefront of the weddings world, same as she hopes to see more people of color being celebrated as exceptional suppliers.
Lexie and her bride, Aisha, dubbed “The Queen of the Night,” by Lexie with a cheeky grin, have a new joint venture. Hun Do’s by Moonlight Experiences has just launched! I have personally never been that interested in bachelor/ette parties, or hen/stag-dos. Speaking with Lexie makes me realize that this is because they’ve never catered to me, my interests, personality or culture. Queer Weddings UK in loving partnership with Moonlight Experiences is proud to be changing that through their Hun-Do experiences, an alternative to the traditional, gendered party that marks the “end” of singlehood. Instead, Hun Do’s will celebrate who we are as individuals and who we are as couples joining our lives through our upcoming weddings.
Aisha Shaibu, a chemist, University lecturer, head of Community for UK Black Pride, owner of Moonlight Experiences, collaborator of Hun-Do’s, and one half of Queer Nomads, as well as Lexie Lenoir’s wife
“This is is—when we say smashing stereotypes we’re being very intentional about it—it’s not about having the bride-to-be banner,” Lexie tells me, gesturing across her chest at a sash that’s not there. “That’s cool, but let’s show people a different way. We’re not going on a bender, we’re going on a night out. You need to celebrate the fact that you’re going into your marriage—let’s embrace that and celebrate entering into marriage, rather than a celebration of the end of the single life—change the narrative, because at the end of the day we’re not celebrating an end, but a beginning—leveling up—I’m going to be a whole wife. It’s all happiness for me,” she says. Lexie already calls Aisha her wife ahead of their wedding. It’s about reclaiming the word wife, just like the community has claimed the word Queer.
