Last month The National Portrait Gallery unveiled a digital exhibition of 100 images capturing life under lockdown. They were selected from more than 31,000 submissions to the Hold Still community photography project, created and submitted during April and May 2020. During seven days the public were asked to submit photographs that they felt best represented their experiences of lockdown in England. A Spring we will never forget, huh? And this one really caught my eye. It is couple, photographer Donna Duke-Llande and Jesse, who dressed up for the day that would have been their wedding in Crete, and celebrated with their two children at their home in Bishop's Stortford. I reached out to Donna to find out more. 2 things were reinforced to me. Firstly even though we feel beyond hard done by right now, there was a moment in time this year when weddings could not happen AT ALL. So we have moved on from that.

And secondly, as she explained about her first mini official wedding prior to this, done quickly to allow her dad who had acute myeloid leukaemia to be there - weddings ARE IMPORTANT ON AN EXISTENTIAL LEVEL. They are celebrations of not only love but life and death and what it is to be human and to have human connection and to honour all those things, just for one day. We NEED them. Thank you for sharing your moving and very common story with us Donna. And congrats for being selected to feature in the exhibition.

Who are you both and how did you meet?

I’m Donna, I work as a portrait photographer based in Bishop’s Stortford, Hertfordshire @donnadukellande, and Jesse works on film and television productions as a digital imaging technician. We met years ago when we were both working in media. We were 24 so we’ve been together a long time! 12 years this year!

Fave thing about each other?

A difficult one after so long with each other ;) But I’d say we’re both very individually driven while being extremely supportive of each other. We’re each others biggest cheerleaders.

What has your wedding planning journey been like over this crazy year? Practically and emotionally?

Our wedding planning journey has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. We’ve always put off getting married as it hasn’t been a huge priority to us, but we decided the timing was right at the end of 2018. After lots of discussion and number crunching we decided to get married at Agreco Farm in Crete which is just the most spectacular venue. We’re both such foodies too, and the food is meant to be incredible. I can’t say we’ve tried it, as neither of us have actually been to Crete, but we do quite like spontaneity so picking a random venue and location suits us as a couple. One thing we were sure of was that we wanted an outdoor wedding, and unfortunately the risk of having that in the UK was just too high. Of course planning a wedding abroad comes with it’s own issues but we’d hired a wedding planner and everything was going ahead smoothly.

Of course we all know how April panned out for everyone! So…

Let us know all about your lockdown pretend wedding day? :) How did the day go?

It was just a little bit of fun to enjoy the day, a chance to get out of our pyjamas and do something. I think after a while many of us during lockdown fell into familiar habits, which I can’t deny I really enjoyed. But it was fun having a day to dress up and drink champagne! Any excuse really to break up the monotony.

When did you decide you were gonna go do it?

I’ve not had the chance to wear my wedding dress. It’s just hanging on the back of my bedroom door. I bought the dress in the picture as a potential dress to wear on the evening of the wedding if I fancied having something easier to dance in. It’s a dress by Nadine Merabi. I rarely get the chance to go out these days, let alone wear a white dress, so I wanted to wear something I would have worn on the day to feel special. The veil was the veil I wore from the London wedding. The slippers are just add a little lockdown flair ;)

Donna also let us know the back story that lead them to the day, and sharing the small London wedding they had last year:

We officially did get married a year prior to our Crete wedding because we found out my dad had acute myeloid leukaemia and he was given weeks to live. One of his final wishes was to walk me down the aisle, so we made sure we were able to achieve that dream for him. It was a very small ceremony. My sister wasn’t even able to make it and we really weren’t prepared for the occasion, but my dad was allowed out of hospital for the day to attend- although the occasion naturally became quite a sombre affair. I couldn’t really take in the emotion of getting married that day because I was so caught up knowing these moments were my dads final ones. So the Crete wedding which we had planned prior to our London wedding we decided would be the one where we’d celebrate our relationship and create some happier memories.

And do you have plans to do something else in the future, are you still hoping to have that glorious time in Crete?

I really don’t know. I hope so. At the moment we’re dealing with insurance which has been a nightmare as I’m sure other brides and grooms who have had to cancel their weddings will also be familiar with. We don’t want to book in another date in Crete and have our guests deal with flights and hotels again only to have to deal with cancellations once more. So for us everything is on hold until Covid 19 is a distant memory. Our venue are happy for us to move dates which is great but at the same time we’d also like to support local businesses get back on their feet too. It’s a hard time for everyone really.

Do you think there’s actually been positives for you from having a wedding micro style?

Our London wedding was a lot less stressful compared to the planning of our Crete wedding.

What have you learnt about married life so far hah!

After 12 years not much has changed ha!

Any advice or words of solidarity for couples trying to get married at the moment? Particularly with the news, wedding will be maximum 15 people for the foreseeable future?

One thing I would say is make your smaller wedding as special as you would a larger one. That’s my biggest regret with the wedding we had in London. I tried to ignore the day really because emotionally I found it hard. I didn’t want to spend too long taking photographs on the day because I was aware that my dad weak and tired, and really I was making sure that he was ok the whole time that I forgot to be a bride. Even preparing for the day I didn’t do anything a bride typically would do. I didn’t go dress shopping, I didn’t have a hair or make up trial. My flowers were just a bunch picked up from a local flower shop. I never even considered how I’d look until the morning of the day itself. I was just trying to rush through everything so my Dad could be there and then on the day I was rushing through the day because I was aware he needed to get back to hospital for further treatment. So my advice would be to slow down and spend the time you have at your smaller wedding with those loved ones. I wish I could have done that. Because ultimately the 15 people you choose to be there are the most precious 15 people you have in your lives. Enjoy the day with them and celebrate being a bride with them cheering you on. Make sure you get the photographs too. Because one day you’ll only have the memories of some of those loved ones and being able to see them on your wedding day is truly something heartwarming.

Thank you so much Donna, this post is dedicated to your lovely Dad.

HOLD TIGHT: Portrait photographer Donna Duke-Llande talks us through her lockdown wedding photo, featured in the National Portrait Gallery, and the journey to that moment

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