I Got You Babe: Aamir & Amir on their love, wedding and Chosen Family
We are so honoured and over joyed to share Aamir + Amir (of the YOU DON’T LOVE ME Podcast and @ladybushra fame and general iconic status!)’s story and wedding on the blog today.
It’s common to hear the phrase ‘the path of true love doesn’t run smooth’, but these two have really had to make life changing decisions and face challenges that have pushed them to places many of us will never have to go in order to live their truth together, but it’s clear the bliss they find in one another explodes any negative out of the water!
We originally commissioned Aamir + Amir to talk about the role their Chosen Family played in their 2019 wedding to inspire other couples who might also be planning a similar type of day, but we think the inspiration goes way beyond any type of category, it’s a gigantic love story of bravery, triumph, joy and happiness. The best kind of love story.
We did write this little intro re Chosen Families though, which Aamir gave his seal of approval :)
“A Chosen Family is exactly that, the family you chose, to support you, love you, love back, guide, protect you and be there for you and vice versa, rather than the family you are born into. It is a term, concept and hugely important, in some cases, life saving safety net created by the LGBTQ community, because of the reality of the tensions, battles and rejection they can face with their biological family.”
So read on to hear about them, their day and how their Chosen family carried them every step on the way.
Please can we also appreciate the AH-Mazing images by Spencer Cooper @thegayphotographer to celebrate their second wedding anniversary in April.
We’ve also added a video from Diss Dash with further interview with Aamir and Amir about their story and Chosen family, and they have also recommended The Naz and Matt Foundation and Club Kali, for all the Queer South Asian babies looking for representation, support and community right now.
Over to you Amir + Amir. Thank you so, so much for sharing your beautiful story x
Our wedding? A small, intimate but extremely magical affair. But before we begin…let us give you a little flavour of who we are…
We are Aamir and Amir. An openly proud, gay, South Asian married couple. A few years ago we started the podcast ‘You Don’t’ Love Me’ covering all topics but through our unique perspective. This grew way more than we expected and now we use our Instagram platform @youdontlovemeboys to be positive role models and representation for LGBTQ+ South Asians all over the world. If you cannot see the change, then guess what? Be the change! Our superpower is and will always be unapologetic Queer South Asian love.
1) How did you meet?We both met in late 2014 and initially we did not like each other! It is quite funny because one of us was said to be too pompous and posh and the other was too crazy and wild. We did end up meeting again with a larger group of friends and from that night something magical happened between us both. We kept meeting up almost every evening from there and constantly messaging each other until we fell in love. Over 6 years later and we are happily married!
2) What’s your fave thing about each other? :)
Amir: 'My favourite thing about Aamir is his passion and zest for life. He is extremely determined and I find that very admirable. I also love how caring and sweet he is too; he'll do anything for those he loves.'
Aamir: 'My favourite thing about Amir is his sense of humour 100%, it may be a simple thing but I am so lucky that I don't go a day without laughing. He is also extremely intuitive and smart and is an incredible cook. I always feel safe with him which is extremely important to me.'
We come from a small town, and we have a Muslim background, we no longer identify and align with the religion and unfortunately between us have limited if not any contact with our blood family. We write blood family because we have an incredibly beautiful and inspiring chosen family! They support us 100%, they back us 100% and they would do anything for us. We wanted to honour them over the course of a few days of our wedding and here is how…
Remembering the day we turned to each other and decided to go to the Registry Office is absolutely crazy! Some would call us mad, but we did just that. It was March the 9th 2019, We started messaging our chosen family: ‘are you able to get Moday 29th April off work?’ ‘Are you free on this date?’ ‘Can I call, got something important to tell you?’ Each and every single person was so unbelievably ecstatic for us, and the buzz began. We made a small group chat with our chosen family and swore them to secrecy. The build up to the day was so exciting, like school kids waiting for the end of year trip!
Leading up to the big day, we had so much to organise, even if for a small affair. We wanted a Henna (Mehndi) Ceremony at ours the night before, wanted to take our chosen family out to a great place to eat afterwards and wanted to host a breakfast at ours on the day too. Let’s not even start on outfits, a photographer and booking time off work! A small intimate affair and yet we had so much planning to do. Thankfully, it remained exciting, and we were living off the adrenaline for weeks on end.
The day of our Henna Ceremony arrived, and everyone came round to our place which was fully decorated, and we put on a lovely spread of food and drink. We danced, we put Henna on, and we talked for hours and hours. You could truly feel something special in the air. This continued into our wedding day which was so unbelievably special that even writing this is emotional! Everyone came to ours for breakfast (yes and drinks in the morning because it is after all, a celebration), music was playing, smiles all around and there was so much genuine joy and emotion.
We all travelled to the registry office together and there it happened…we got married! A lot of tears, a lot of laughs and a lot of release. We say release because in that moment we truly realised what ‘Love Wins’ meant. Through every trial and tribulation, we have faced: ostracised by blood family, ostracised by a community and even ostracised by some of our own friends, we battled on in the face of adversity and we did it! We won. On that day, love won and every single one of us in that room could feel it.
From that release came even more fun. We wanted to do something special for our chosen family so took them all out for food and drink at an Argentinian Steak House: delicious! The celebrations continued into the evening and the exhaustion was truly felt the next day.
Our chosen family really made that day special, and we could not have done it without them. We honestly do not know if we would be here without them. They continue to support us so much and we are extremely lucky and blessed to have them in our lives.
To any LGBTQ+ South Asian reading going through a difficult time, never hesitate to reach out because there is a whole wider community and a chosen family waiting to embrace you with open arms and celebrate everything you are! Please remember that if you allow it to do so then love will always win and love will the love will truly conquer all!
See more at YOU DONT LOVE ME
Below video is from Diss Dash with further interview with Aamir and Amir about their story and Chosen family, and they have also recommended The Naz and Matt Foundation and Club Kali, for all the Queer South Asian babies looking for representation, support and community right now.